Don’t trash-talk the committee.
Back when we were switching our scholarship over from postal mail to e-mail, I made a joke on one of our websites about the U.S. Postal Service. I know, I know – you’re thinking, “That’s impossible! How could you possibly find something negative to say about the U.S. Postal Service?” I don’t remember exactly what it was that I said, but I know it wasn’t cruel or spiteful – it went something like, “there’s no reason to line the pockets of the USPS anymore, because we’re now accepting submissions only via email.” If you’ve read this far, you already know that I have little love in my heart for the USPS, so I think I did pretty well by restricting my comments to just that.
I mean, really, it could’ve been a lot worse. I didn’t mention their propensity to lose and destroy mail and never lift a finger to take responsibility or offer compensation for it. I didn’t mention that they hike stamp prices more often that the rest of us hike up our pants. I didn’t mention that you can stand in line at a U.S. Post Office longer than some kids stand in line to get a PlayStation 3, and I didn’t mention that the customer service skills make the Department of Motor Vehicles look like the Ritz-Carlton. And last but not least, I didn’t mention that every couple of years, one unlucky post office becomes a shooting gallery after a nutso package-sorter brings an assault rifle to work and decides to play a real-life version of Metal Gear Solid with anyone who comes into his field of vision.
A week or so later, we got a nasty email from a high school senior who insisted that she was certain she was qualified to win our scholarship – but refused to enter due to our “alarming and insensitive” comments about the post office.
Her letter left me with several observations: 1) Who loves the United States Postal Service so much that they would both write a letter of outrage about such an innocuous comment, and refuse to enter our scholarship contest in protest of that comment? Maybe both her parents were mail carriers. 2) If you thought that was alarming and insensitive, then you’d better not read what I just wrote in “Confessions of a Scholarship Judge,” because that might just give you a heart attack; 3) Good, don’t apply. That’s one more essay I don’t have to read before I go home and play with my children; 4) I actually feel a little bit sorry for her. If she really was “alarmed” by the post office crack, then she is in for a very rough go in this crazy, unpredictable world.
The moral of the story is this (yes, there’s actually a lesson here, not just an excuse for me to rant): Don’t waste your time lecturing the committee. Trust me, they’ll get plenty of good applicants with or without yours. If you don’t enter, no one will care or even notice. Except maybe your parents, who will have to dig into their savings to pay your college the money that you could’ve won with the scholarship.
add to del.icio.us 
Digg this 
add to reddit 
add to fark 
add to Y!
Don’t plagiarize other people’s work.
The Internet has made it easier than ever to pass off the work of others as your own, but if you’re bold enough to do so, beware of the double-edged sword: the Web also makes it easier than ever to catch you in the act. A stolen essay can be uncovered often and easily by Googling any sentence or phrase that sounds like it may have been lifted. An exact-phrase search on Google will often uncover the original source, which will, of course, expose any plagiarism immediately. And if we’ve got a good gut feeling that a paper has been plagiarized, then we won’t just Google a phrase or two; we’ll Google 15 or 20. A crafty plagiarist knows this strategy and will take measures to neutralize it by changing the wording of certain sentences. But they won’t go to the trouble of changing them all, and therein lies the likelihood they’ll get caught. After all, cheaters cheat to get out of doing the work that the rest of us do. If you were willing to go to the trouble of altering every sentence of an essay, you probably aren’t nearly as lazy as most cheaters!
Honestly, I doubt this is a problem for anyone reading this. If you’re here reading this because you want to learn how to earn more scholarship money, you’re not the type of loser who plagiarizes.
add to del.icio.us Digg this add to reddit add to fark add to Y!